In elementary school I was the annoying student in the front row whose hand shot up to answer every question, and not only did my hand shoot up--I waggled it around and made "ooh ohh" noises. Why? Because I knew the answer, and I knew whoever the teacher called on was probably going to get it wrong anyway. Yes--I was that annoying. Sometimes I still am.
I was like that pretty much all the way through school. I couldn't seem to help myself. At first my fellow students were certain I was a giant suck up, but eventually they discovered that I got in trouble too much to be a suck up. I got in fights. I punched boys on the playground. I even once stood up in the middle of class and told the teacher she was an ignorant ass--right before storming out and slamming the door in her face. That one earned me ISS by the way--worst, most boring thing ever.
Needless to say, by high school most of my peers had figured out I wasn't a suck up. I was just an incredibly irritating smarty pants.
Fast forward to my second year of college. I'm still the annoying person whose hand always shoots up to answer any question the professor throws at the class. But here I'm not a suck up, I'm just a smart. That is until I enroll in a Violent Film Females course taught by a genius professor named Dr. Mark Pizzato.
I had taken some of his courses before and I really enjoyed them all. I couldn't wait to take VFF. Dr. Pizzato assigned us four big projects for the semester. We had to watch a movie from his list and analyze the film for gendered violence. Then we have to present our findings to the class. Awesome, right? Well it really was awesome.
I make my choice for the first film. I can no longer remember what film I chose. I still have my paper around here somewhere. Anyway, so I choose my first film on day one of the class. I'm excited about it. The prof and I are on a first name basis (I'd already taken two or three classes with the man) and we joke a lot. This friendly banter is not going to help my case later in the semester.
The day comes to present and what happens? Right before I present Mark announces that he is very interested to hear my analysis because he's written a chapter in a book all about the film I chose. Well crap. The rest of the class starts shooting me dirty looks and I start hearing that dreaded word snickered behind harsh whispers, "suck-up."
It gets worse. He LOVES my analysis. He praises me in front of the class. And I can't help myself--I'm proud of my hard work and it shows on my face.
Suck-up.
The next time we have to choose a movie to evaluate I try my best to pick something I'm sure he hasn't written about. I choose Joan of Arc. I get up to present. I love what I've found. I'm sure it's an A. I'm sure he hasn't written about it. I am excited. And then....BOOM! Same thing. He wrote a fricken book on this movie. Freaking A. Suck-up.
The third movie project comes around, and sure enough yet again I select a film the man has written about. I swear it is not intentional! I swear I didn't do it on purpose! I swear I'm not sucking up. No one believes me.
Oh it gets worse. For the last project I am so determined to select a film that he has not evaluated that I actually spend hours researching his work. I find a film on the list that is not evaluated in any of the books or articles penned by him that I can locate.
I come to class with a big grin on my face. I've done it. I've selected a film he never wrote about. I've selected a film he'd never want to write about. Who would ever want to write about Natural Born Killers? It's violent, but it's also not very good. Ha! Call me a suck up! In your face class!
Wrong. Right before I stand up to present Mark passes out a flyer for his newest book.
You can only imagine what the rest of the class was thinking of me, but I swear to you I was really, really not sucking up. But I did get an A in the class.
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