Use

Several months ago I found myself wandering around World Market.  I love World Market, but I rarely ever go there.  It's in a neighboring city and it's a long drive.  When I do wind up there it is usually by some happy accident.  This day was no different.  I was meeting my cousin for lunch and her class ran over.  I went to World Market to kill time before our lunch date.

I walk aimlessly through the store, gently picking things up.  I run my hands over hand crafted tables and can't resist caressing soft woven towels.  I smell all of the soaps and hand lotions, but I am never tempted to buy these.  I can make these myself.  I shake toys that rattle and smile at sock monkeys.  I revel in the foreign smells of the grocery section.  I never buy anything.  As much as I love the store, everything is just too expensive for me.  I enjoy browsing though.

This particular day I found a cat bed shaped like an Arabian tent.  It was beautiful, made of sateen red fabric and lined with a soft green pillow.  It was on clearance.  It was in my price range.  It was way too small for any of my cats. Except maybe Gracie, but I doubted she'd ever use it.  She prefers to nap on living things--human laps, on top of the other cats, on the dog's belly. 

But for some reason I couldn't put it down.  I just had to have it.  I knew my cats weren't likely to use it.  I doubted they'd even express interest, but I just knew I had to have it.  So I bought it.

That was in August.  I brought it home and set it in the corner of my living room where it was all but forgotten.  My cats never even bothered to sniff at it.  They simply were not interested in it. 

Fast forward several months to the last week of January.  My husband and I are out in our yard about to climb into the car to head to the grocery store.  We hear a mewing sound a tiny kitten bursts through the bushes and over the neighbor's porch and literally right into my husband's arms. 

Well hell.  Another cat?  We can't afford another cat.  We can't leave her out in the cold either though....and she's hungry.  I'm a sucker for a living creature in need.  We put her inside our fence and say if she's still there when we get back then we'll take that as a sign we're supposed to take care of her.

We get back after dark and she's not there.  I carry in the last bag of groceries and put them all away.  I decide I should look out the door just one more time to make sure she's gone.  I almost step on her.  She's curled up on the top step next to the door. 

I pick her up and carry her into the living room where I give her food and water.  She purrs.  She is warm and fed and loved.  She discovers a neglected and forgotten kitty tent in the corner of the living room.  She makes it her own.  She curls up inside it and goes to sleep.  She is safe.

The kitty bed I had to have but even I could not justify buying now has a use.  We are taking this kitten to a rescue today.  My friend Megan has vouched for it and I know she'd never send any animal to someone she did not trust.  I know this kitty will be safe there, but she has wiggled her way into my heart.  I know I will cry when I hand her over to someone who can find her a home.  I will miss her. 

But the kitty tent I had to have that had no use now has a purpose.  I am sending it with her.  It will be something familiar to her.  I hope it will let her know she was loved and maybe somehow she will know we loved her enough to let her go.  We have three cats and a dog, and I am jobless.  We cannot afford to keep her.  But we can give her this tent and hopefully she will feel at home.