I have no idea who said that first. Is it a proverb? Is it true? I don't know. What I do know is that my grandmother is the first person to say it to me, and I seem to suffer from 'the grass is always greener' syndrome.
I have a hard time living in the present. I have a hard time being content with where I am and what I have. I have a hard time accepting that happiness is permanently attainable. My life has shown me repeatedly that the other shoe always drops, so I find myself waiting for that shoe to drop to the detriment of my own momentary happiness.
It's not necessarily that I think the grass will be greener on the other side. I just think that my own grass is bound to shrivel up and die sooner or later, so I'd do well to have another field handy just in case. I plan for the worst so when it happens I won't be blindsided and inept. Of course that means when it doesn't happen, I have too much grass to take care of (lol).
For instance, right this second I am madly plotting the course for two different careers. Why? Because what if I can't get hired in the one field and then I'm not able to get a job anywhere? I'm afraid if I don't give myself options on both sides of the fence then I will end up with no grass. I don't want to end up with no grass.
I envy people who don't think the way I do, people who are able to wholly commit to one path and not worry that the whole damned road is going to be swept out from beneath their feet in a flood no one else saw coming. *shakes head* I can see the flood coming. I can feel the water roaring miles away. I worry it's going to take me down with it if I don't carry an inflatable life raft in my luggage. Sometimes that means I'm floating around trying to save everyone else's drowning arse. But sometimes...sometimes it just means that I am lugging around a bunch of baggage I don't need.
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