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| Photo courtesy of hhnrumors.com |
I'm the calm one. I'm reposed. I'm the person everyone else looks to in a crisis because I'm the one who keeps it together. I am the one who keeps her cool when everyone else is panicking. I'm calm, cool, and collected. ALWAYS. I don't freakout. I don't do this.
Except I am doing this. I am freaking out. I am seriously freaking out. I'm not entirely sure I've ever really freaked out before.
And the worst part? I'm pretty sure the reason I'm freaking out is completely foolish.
I'm freaking out because I just got a big fat check and I now have enough money to move. I can leave. Really leave. I can find a new place to live and sign a lease. I can move.
I want to move. I need to move. I know I can't stay in the house. I know the house isn't really mine anymore. I know I'm getting a divorce. I know I have to move. I've been waiting for this check so I could move.
So now that the check is here why am I freaking out? And I mean really freaking out. My stomach hurts. I can't breathe. I feel sick. I think I might cry. Is this what panicking feels like? I don't do this emotion. This emotion is not one I am familiar with and I don't know how to deal with it. I don't like it. Good God! Is this what my life is going to be like from now on?
Seriously--I am freaking out. Holy God, this sucks! What in the hell do you people do when you feel like this? It's awful. Ugh.
Sometimes Life can walk by and slap you in the face.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn’t matter if he uses his hands or a big fat check.
It hurts anyway.
So I would also scream/yell/curse/break things and probably cry.. A lot.
If It was a possibility I would hide underneath my blankets and sleep for a hundred years.
But is not.
So I would just get up, bruises and all, and try to face Life the best way I possibly can.
If that means freaked out, so be it.