Blood

They say blood is thicker than water.  Maybe that's true of some families, of some people.  I can assure you, however, it is not true of me and mine.

It must be nice to have a loving, supportive family--a family that actually sticks up for you and guides you.  It must be nice to have family members who listen and are rational.  It must be nice to grow up with the Cleavers or Nina and George Banks (Father of the Bride) as parents.  Hell, it must be nice to have "parents" at all.

My childhood was not cushy.  There are certainly people who would like me to pretend it was.  It wasn't. Lots of people have crappy childhoods so I won't bemoan mine here. That's a waste of space. I'll just say it wasn't all rainbows and bunnies and move on.

I did a lot more with my paycheck than people think I did--than people want to admit I did.  That's fine too.
I provided a lot more than anyone wants to fess up to.  That's fine.

I've helped when asked. I've helped when not asked. I've defended when my defense wasn't deserved.  I've gone above and beyond what a lot of people would do.  That's fine too. 

I've never been thanked.  Fine. Being selfless is often thankless and unappreciated.  I don't expect thanks anyway.

I can deal with all of that.

But you know what I can't deal with?

Daring to call me and screech at me about something someone else did.  Maybe if this particular someone else was ever called out on his bad behavior by anyone other than me he would stop acting so poorly all the time.  Maybe if anyone had ever called him out on his BS instead of coming up with excuses for him he never would have gotten himself arrested for doing something as monumentally STUPID as driving drunk. But no--apparently dyslexia is a running excuse to get away with everything but murder in my "family."

You know what else I cannot fathom? Daring to jabber your jaws about me BEHIND MY BACK and then deny it and defend it in the same breath. If you open your mouth and have a conversation ABOUT ME when I am NOT PRESENT that is talking about me behind my back, and if you are saying NEGATIVE, NASTY things about me BEHIND MY BACK then you should know that is UNACCEPTABLE.  Could someone explain to me why I am STILL parenting ADULTS?!!

You talk about me behind my back and stick your noses up like you think you are somehow morally superior to me despite any good thing I have ever done for any of you, and you expect me to just roll over and take it.  You talk about me behind my back like a bunch of old lady gossips and run your mouths about me with judgmental remarks that aren't even called for AND THEN YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE THE GUTS TO SAY IT TO MY FACE.....and YOU judge ME?

You want to talk to me about FAMILY and LOYALTY?  In case it has somehow escaped your notice, I happen to be going through the never-ending divorce from hell and  this is exactly the time in my life I have  most needed support, and oh so shockingly this support is notably absent from the vast majority of my "family" corner.

Making snide remarks about my life, my business, my job, my work ethic, my weight, my college degree, my debt, my "failed" marriage behind my back is anything but SUPPORTIVE.  And you're guilty.  You're all freaking guilty of it and you know it.  You know you've had "family" discussions about me and how poor little Jennifer's perfect life finally came crashing down, and you've done it SNIDELY and HURTFULLY and I AM DONE WITH IT.

Vindictive?  Vindictive means having or showing a strong desire for revenge.  Since I am accused of being vindictive this clearly means I have something to avenge, does it not?

I know you're reading this and I do not give a flying f*ck that you don't like it.  Maybe you're so freaking hysterical because there's more than a grain of truth in what I've said.

People can say whatever they want to about my daddy, and god knows he had more flaws than just about anyone I've ever met, but that man never uttered an ugly word about me my entire life. That's more than the rest of you can say.

I wash my hands of the lot of you. I'm done with it. With "support" like this, I don't need enemies.