It's no secret my first marriage ended in divorce. My divorce didn't come as a shocker to anyone. I got married far too young and for all of the wrong reasons. I think deep down I probably knew it wouldn't work even when I said yes. My marriage was a mistake, but it was a mistake I learned from. I hope my ex can say the same. I also hope we will eventually be able to forgive one another and ourselves for the mistakes we made. I wasn't in it for the long haul. My heart wasn't in it. I erred. I was reasonably and emphatically certain I would never want to be in a serious relationship ever again, much less ever consider marriage again. Hell, I didn't even want to date. My heart wasn't broken (maybe it should have been, but I suppose the fact that it wasn't should really tell you something about that first marriage), but I was disillusioned.
So one night I went to an old friend's house to watch a movie. His toddler was there for the weekend, and he was a good friend. It was no big deal. We'd known each other since at least my freshman year of high school--about 12 years at the time. We'd remained pretty good friends the entirety of that 12 years, so when I say I went to watch a movie at his house I mean I really only went to watch a movie. I needed a night out that was really a night in. A movie with an old friend was exactly what the doctor ordered. We ended up cuddling on the couch, and it was comfortable but I found I had this odd fluttering in my stomach that I don't think had ever been there before. I was nervous. I don't remember what movie we watched. On my drive back to my temporary residence I convinced myself I had imagined the whole thing. You've known him for 12 years. If there was anything there then you would have figured it out a long time ago. This is ridiculous. He's just your friend. I repeated that over and over again, until I almost believed it.
Then the next night I somehow wound up back at his house to watch another movie. I'm not sure if he invited me over or if I invited myself over. Again, I have no idea what movie we watched. What I do know is when I went to leave, he kissed me. And I knew. The way everyone always say you'll know, but I never believed you actually did know. He says he knew too. He says he kissed me because he had to know. He says it "was worth the risk," that he "couldn't not kiss me." And I'm glad he kissed me because I never would have kissed him--I'd convinced myself it was all in my head, all one sided. I'm glad it wasn't.
None of our mutual friends were surprised when we finally announced we were dating. My very best friend actually said, "Well finally!" I'm pretty sure his best friend (who is a friend of mine--he actually came to my graduation party when I graduated high school lol) probably said about the same thing. In fact, his best friend did say something similar to me. He said, "I'm really glad you and Kenny are finally dating. You're good for each other." That was the general consensus too.
When people ask me how we met I tell them we're like "When Harry Met Sally." We've known each other for years and it took over a decade for him to finally kiss me.
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