You're So Vain You Probably Think This Blog Is About You (it's not)

Now we've all been there.  We've all had a bad breakup and we've all wondered so what does that new be-otch have that I don't? I think that's perfectly normal.  But you start to cross a line when you take to Google in an attempt to ferret out every minute detail about the ex or the new girl/guy in his/her life.  You start to traverse into unhealthy mental territory when you find yourself unable to avoid going to this person's social media pages. 

When you feel compelled to check their social media outlets for information then you should really start questioning your motives.  Are you really just curious?  Is it really just because this person comes into contact with your friends/family/kid on a regular basis?  Or are you looking because you feel a burning desire to know what is going on in someone's life, someone who was once a part of your life?  If you're honest with yourself and the last reason is the reason you're looking then it might be time to unplug the computer and deal with your issues. 

Do you feel the need to check their page every single time you log on to the world wide web?  Do you have to tell yourself you aren't interested to avoid checking their page?  Then after three weeks of torture do you finally succumb and click on every social media link you can find, furiously reading every scrap you've missed in your three week trip into sane land? If so then you might have a problem.

If you actually start to think this person is Tweeting, Facebooking, Blogging, or Pinning (things to Pinterest) just for your benefit then you really need to talk to someone.  Chances are they're not.  In all likelihood this person doesn't waste any of their time thinking about you until or unless you draw attention to yourself (usually in a negative way).  Is that such a bad thing? Why does that matter so much?  Let them go!

Cyber-stalking is on the rise. You don't have to be part of the problem.  I think these behaviors are genuinely unhealthy.  The more time that has passed, the more unhealthy it is. 

So what do you do if you find yourself being stalked?  Experts agree that you should be firm, honest, and very clear.  You should let the person know that you are aware of their behavior, it makes you uncomfortable, and their feelings are not reciprocated.  I remain unconvinced that this approach will actually work.  What if your stalker is delusional? Will they hear anything you say?  I'd just tell as many people as possible that this person is stalking you, and if the behavior continues then I'd go to the police.

What do you do if you find yourself behaving obsessively? Well, you should probably talk to a counselor.  There are free helplines out there too. Maybe one of those would be helpful.  I'm not sure.