Run For Your Life (and Enjoy It)

I started running in March.  I haven't been medically able to run for a long time.  You can read about my progress here and here.  When I first started "running" I was really "walking."  Not jogging, not running, walking. And I dreaded it.  Every morning I got up to "run" (walk) and I had to force myself to do it.  It was not fun.  It did not make me feel good.  I usually barfed and almost always it seems I had an audience for my humiliation.  It sucked.  I hated it.

I've now been running almost 7 months, and I've recently started to really enjoy it.  I even ran my first ever 5k a few weeks ago.

That's me before the race.  I was excited, but also a little bit nervous.  My only goals were to finish and not to come in dead last.  I met both goals.

This is me finishing my first 5k:

It's not a pretty picture, but I'm proud of it.  It was 52 degrees and RAINING the entire time.  It was a cold rain, and an icy breeze blew the rain into my face (and onto my glasses) for the whole 47 minutes it took me to finish.  I was not the fastest person there.  I was slow.  But I finished.  And I did not come in dead last--11 people finished after me, 23 people did not finish in the allotted time and therefore were not counted, and 3 girls in my age division did not finish in time to be counted either.  I was happy with that result.  It was freezing.  The weather was not great.  I've never had so much fun in my life!

Since completing that 5k, I've really come into my own as a runner. I'm still not fast.  I still have bad days.  But instead of dreading every single step, I now look forward to each step.  Each step is progress.  I love my morning runs now.  I love them so much that I want to share them with you.

Here are few pictures from today's run (from about 8:30 to 9:30 AM, approximately 4 miles):

Before my run--I'm happy to be going.

Downtown is painted pink!  Business are going pink in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  I love it!

I am fortunate to have beautiful, historic homes to look at on my morning runs.  This one is one of my favorites.  The architecture is so unique.  

One of the many Victorians along our tree lined streets.

This is the historic court house. 

I love my running route.  I usually see and speak to several other runners.  I always see a few dogs, and most of the time I take my dog with me.  He's a great running partner.  In the spring the entire city is alive with vegetation and sweet smelling flowers.  I'm looking forward to watching the trees paint our streets in brilliant reds and golds this autumn. I'm lucky.  This is a great place to run.

This is me at the end of my run.  I'm sweaty and gross, but I'm happy. In your face congestive heart failure! I run for my life.  You should run for your's too.  Find a place that you enjoy going.  I love looking at historic buildings.  On the days that I struggle, knowing that a beautiful structure is right around the corner helps me stay motivated to finish.  On days like today, when the weather is brisk and perfect for a run, when the sun is shining and the sidewalks are clear except for a few other early morning joggers, loving where I run makes a great day better.  Happy running!

Running For A Cause

As many of you know, I have struggled with a serious heart condition all of my life.  I was a sickly child and by middle school I wasn't even medically permitted to participate in phys ed anymore.  So while my best friends were playing soccer and softball and running on the track team, I was forced to watch them from the sidelines. 

My family is athletic.  I was as active as possible until I was 12 and my condition began deteriorating.  My great grandfather even played pro baseball.  I hated not being allowed to do anything 'fun.'  Fast forward a decade and you have the day my heart stopped beating. I was in my early twenties.  Congestive heart failure was my diagnosis. 

You hear about cancer and diabetes and obesity every day.  No one ever talks about CHF.  No one ever talks about how young some of the people who get it are.  No one ever talks about how it makes it hard to breathe or how sometimes your fingers and your feet swell to twice their normal size or how sometimes your fingernails and your lips turn blue because you don't have enough oxygen in your body.  No one ever talks about the heart valve problems that lead to this disorder or how these disorders get in the way of a normal, active childhood.  No one ever talks about the sick kids who need specialized medical care. 

Well I'm going to talk about it today.  I was that sick kid.  I have battled heart disease since I was a child.  I have fought to live.  I have fought to breathe.  I have fought to get better.  For more than a decade I have waged war with my own body.  You probably don't know what that's like, but however horrible you think it sounds--it's worse.

For the first time in my life though, I have control.  I feel like I'm winning this never ending battle against this disease.  I have completed several rounds of cardiac rehab, and this last time....it stuck. 

In March my doctor told me I could start walking a mile a day.  I haven't been medically permitted to do that since I was 16 years old.  I'm 27 now. At first I could barely make it the whole mile.  I threw up.  I wheezed.  I coughed. My lips turned blue.   In May my doctor told me I could start jogging part of that mile.  Again, I wheezed. I coughed. I threw up. My lips turned blue.  I kept at it. 

Now it's the end of August.  It may have taken me nearly six months, but I'm going further and faster now.  I run 1.5 miles 2 to 3 times a week, and 3.8 miles once a week.  Some days I still wheeze, cough, turn blue, and puke.

I am happy to report that I currently show no signs or symptoms of CHF.  My mitral valve still does not work quite the way it should.  My heart still beats too fast.  But I'm okay...and I'm running.

Couch to 5k in 10 weeks?  Not me.  Couch to 5k in six months?  Yep, that's me!  I just signed up for my first ever 5k.  I picked Hit the Brixx 5k for my first 5k because it benefits Kid's Path.  Kid's Path is an organization that helps children living with life threatening illnesses, children who are sick.  I know what it's like to be sick when all you want to do is play outside.  I know what it's like to watch your friends do things you can't do.  I wanted my first 5k to benefit a cause that is dear to me.  I wanted to show these sick children that sometimes when you fight you win and sometimes miracles do happen. 

I don't have a lofty goal for my 5k.  My only goal is to finish.  This race requires you to finish in 55 minutes so I hope I can do that.  If you'd like to come support me and every other sick child (or all grown up sick kids) then please visit the website or show up on race day to cheer me on!

Getting My Life Back

I was only 13 years old when a mandatory physical for soccer tryouts turned up something unexpected.  The doctor's brows crinkled together and he pursed his lips.

"Shhhh," he told me, "I need to hear this."  He craned his head into his stethoscope and pressed the cool metal to a different place on my chest. 

"Are your parents with you?"  he asked.

I shook my head no.  Geeze just sign my form.  I've already been playing soccer for 2 years.  

"Please have a seat outside and when they get here bring them back with you,"  he instructed.


"But you didn't sign my form!"

"We'll talk about that when your parents get here."

My grandparents arrived to pick me up and I led them to the room where the doctor was conducting sports physicals.  He pulled us into a private office and asked us to have a seat.

"I see on your forms that your daughter (most people made that mistake so I overlooked it and so did they) was born with a minor heart murmur.  Have you had that checked out recently?"

We shook our heads no.  "I'm going to refer you to a pediatric cardiologist.  I'm sorry but it sounds as if the murmur has grown worse and I don't feel comfortable signing the form so she can play soccer this season."

And that was that.  That was the end of my life as I knew it.  I had an echo-cardiogram that confirmed that two of the valves in my heart were not working quite the way they should.  I was put on some medication and told to restrict my physical activity.  I was no longer permitted to play team sports.

To understand the affect this had on me, you should understand how athletic I was.  The year before I had run a 5 minute mile and I was the only girl in my county to do it.  I had beat the best high school female time by nearly a full minute and I was only 12 years old.  I still have a fitness certificate signed by George Bush in a drawer somewhere to prove it.  I had been playing on a boys soccer league for 2 years and I'd beaten all of them out to become goalie (and I was good at it too).  I had also won a metal for most continuous free throws in a free throw competition--one of the girls I beat went on to play in the WNBA.  I was very active and I loved sports.

Then suddenly I was not allowed to do any of the sports I loved.  I cannot explain to you how frustrating that was, how gut wrenching it was.  I was an athlete (and a good one)....and then suddenly I wasn't.

Fast forward to the December right before my 23rd birthday (which is in March in case any of you lovely people want to get me a gift next year) and everything suddenly got even worse.  My heart stopped and I died for 3 minutes.  My faulty heart valves had given out and I was in full blown congestive heart failure.  It got so bad I couldn't even walk up a flight of stairs.  I couldn't walk from my car to my front door without getting out of breath.  It was horrible.

I am now 27 years old and I have spent the past 4 years of my life battling congestive heart failure.  A marvelous team of medical doctors have finally gotten my leaky valves under control.  My heart still beats too fast, but I've been doing cardiac rehab off and on for 2 years now.  The fluid around my heart and lungs doesn't build up as fast and is slowing receding to nothingness--a fact for which I am eternally grateful.  I'm getting better.

My doctor finally told me I could try running again.  He said I had to limit myself to 20 minutes and I had to walk 5 then alternate jog/walk every other minute for 10 then walk the last 5. When I first started in March I couldn't even make it around my block without throwing up.  But I did it every single day.  Rain or shine.  Puke or no puke.  I did it.

At the end of April I added an extra street to my daily walk/jog and now I walk/jog for 1.5 miles daily.  I walk 3 now (instead of 5), then I run for 1.5 minutes (instead of 1) and walk for 2, then I end with a 2 minute walk. I'm running for longer spurts of time and for greater distances.

Today I decided to try the Greenway in my city for the first time.  It's a 4 mile loop.  I ran for the first 1.5 miles (ok run/walked), and I walked the rest.  It took me an hour and a half.  At first I was royally pissed off that it took me an hour and a half to make it 4 miles.  I was so mad at myself for not being faster and stronger.

Then it hit me.  I made it 4 miles.  Four months ago I wouldn't even have been able to make it a quarter of a mile.  Three months ago I couldn't even make it a whole mile.  But today I made it four miles.  So what if it took me longer than I wanted it to?  So what if I got a blister the size of Kansas on my big toe?  So what if it was 85 degrees and I felt like I was going to die?  I pushed through and I made it.  4 miles.  I haven't been able to do 4 miles since I was 12 years old.  I'll take my hour and half four miles and the blister to boot.