Reflections on Work

Today is the last day of my two week notice.  I will be starting a new job on Monday.  I feel like I should reflect on this some, but I'm not really sure what to say about it.  I'll just do my best to be honest and hope that makes for good reading!

The job I'm leaving isn't a terrible job.  I don't work with terrible people.  In fact, most of my coworkers are lovely people.  I don't hate my job.  But I don't love it either.  I guess that's the problem.  Many people would be content to do what I've been doing.  I work in an office at a community college.  Some days I love what I do.  The days I get to help students achieve their goals and I feel like I'm making a real difference--those days---I love my job.  Most days, however, are filled with mediocrity.  Most days are the same.  Most tasks are the same.  Most questions are the same.  I've gotten bored with more of the same.

I've become quite efficient at my daily tasks.  As a result I tend to finish my work hours before I'm actually scheduled (and able) to leave.  I get bored.  I despise being bored.  I suppose I needed something more challenging and there wasn't much more I could add to this position to make it more challenging.  There was only so much I could grow and learn in this position, and I'd met that goal.

I think you should always strive to learn about yourself, and I certainly learned a lot about myself through the course of this position.  I learned that I absolutely hate working inside.  I wrote this post to better explain that lesson.  I also learned I get bored if i have to sit down for too long.  I like to move around.  I like to teach.  I'm not an office work kind of gal!  I like to be challenged. I like to master tasks.  I'm pretty good at increasing workplace efficiency.  Who knew?  Certainly not me. 

I also learned that it's easier to get up and go to work every day if you like the people you work with.  Even a mundane job is more fun when you have pleasant coworkers.  I learned that irritation can be overcome with laughter.  A smile really can brighten your day.  A kind word is always welcome.  Someone appreciates what you do, even if you don't think it's important.  I learned that it's okay to do what's best for you.  People will understand.  My coworkers have shown me the good in people.  I will be forever grateful for that. 

So this job wasn't a waste of my time, energy, and efforts.  I grew in this position.  This position was an important stepping stone in my continued growth and potential. 

I am nervous and excited to begin my new position. I am also brimming with hope.  I hope this new job will teach me as much as the old one did.  I hope my coworkers will be as amazingly kind.  I hope I will find joy in every assignment.  I hope this new position will lead to bigger and brighter things.  I hope my first day will be wonderful!

Opportunity May Be Knocking...

This week has been filled with opportunity and excitement.  And of course with excitement comes stress. I discovered three open job opportunities that are just right up my alley.  I am absolutely ecstatic about two of them. 

I applied for one of those opportunities today.  My stomach is in knots.  I so desperately want this job, and not just for the increased pay either!  I'm enamored with the job responsibilities and all of the amazingly fun things I'll get to do if I get it.  I know this particular job will be both challenging and rewarding.  It's honestly something I can see myself doing forever.  I'm not sure I've ever come across a job that matched my personality, skill set, and education so very well.  I'm not sure another job like this one even exists.  I'm so nervous about it.  I'm all wound up.  I really hope I get an interview. Heck, I really hope I get hired!

I'm in the process of revamping my resume for the second opportunity that had me jumping out of my skin.  It's at a place I've wanted to work since I was a child.  I'd have to move, but I don't really care.  It's located near a town I've wanted to call home for as long as I can remember.  I will be applying for this job tomorrow.  I've got butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it.

It's been a long time since I've stumbled across jobs that I actually believed could become lifelong careers for me, and these jobs are definitely jobs I can see myself doing happily for a very long time.  It would be so nice to get started at a job I could grow with. 

Putting myself out there and applying for these jobs makes me nervous.  I feel anxious and nauseated.  I am so jittery about it.  But you know what--if you don't put yourself out there then nothing ever happens. I want to make something great happen.  Opportunity might be knocking, but I'll never know if I don't make the effort to answer the door.  So this is me...answering the door and hoping it's opportunity! Here's to good luck and happy thoughts!  Cross your fingers with me folks...

Career Limbo

Limbo: 1.  n. An intermediate, transitional, or midway state or place

 2. n. A dance from the West Indies in which the dancer bends backward at the knee and moves forward with a shuffling step under a horizontal bar that is lowered after each successive pass.

When I walked across the stage to accept my diploma in mid December of 2006 I thought I had it all figured out.  I was the first person in my family to graduate college. I was married.  We bought a house. I had a decent part time job and I thought I'd find a full time job with no problem.   I was going to work for a while and then return to grad school.  I was going to get a PhD and be a professor.  I had a plan and I was floating on cloud 9.

It didn't quite work out that way.  I did find a job I loved, but it was only full time some of the time.  It did have nearly full time hours though and since I enjoyed what I was doing I kept doing it.  Then I got laid off.  Fast forward through the sobbing and frantic searching for employment.  No jobs.  I went back to grad school.  I could still be a professor.  That was the original plan anyway.  I excelled the first year.  I out performed every other person in my program.  It's true--I did.  I also discovered something very unpleasant and nauseating about higher education. Turns out it isn't this noble bastion of learning where the only thing that matters is what you know and what you've done.  I got screwed. Royally.  I was pissed.  I was also heartbroken.  I knew I had to move on.  I didn't want to be a part of something so...disappointing. If I sound bitter, it's because I am.  I will always carry a bit of bitterness that my naive notion of higher learning as this noble space where scholars supported one another and preserved knowledge for future generations was untrue.

I find myself in Career Limbo.  I am in some sort of dark, transitional space--in between what I was and what I am meant to be. I know my skills and I know my shortfalls.  I know what I enjoy and what I despise.  I just don't know how to take that knowledge and choose a career path.

I find myself bending over backward shuffling under the bar of my own expectations and wondering when I'm going to fall flat on my ass.

I'm a writer, but let's face it--writing doesn't pay the bills (at least not for most people).  I love to write, but there are certainly other activities I enjoy.  I don't want a job though--a job is something that just pays the bills.  It doesn't fulfill any other need.  It doesn't make you happy.  You do not enjoy it.

I want a career.  I want to enjoy my work.  I want to get paid to do something that I don't despise or merely tolerate.  I have it narrowed down to two possible choices, but I really need to make a decision and get on with it.  Until then I'll just keep shuffling, watching the bar drop lower and lower as I hope I don't bust my butt.