Does Everything Happen For A Reason?

Sometimes I wonder how I ended up here...where I am now.  If everything happens for a reason then I suppose it was all leading up to this moment and this blog post and right where I am right now.  But sometimes "everything happens for a reason"  seems like a cop out.

Is "everything happens for a reason" really just a way to justify your mistakes?  Is "everything happens for a reason" really just a way to make something that isn't okay seem okay?  Or does everything really "happen for a reason????"

I don't know why I'm feeling somewhat philosophical today.  I'm no philosopher.  I took philosophy in college and I didn't particularly like it.  Who cares why something happens?  Isn't the what more important? You know--what happens because of the why?  It isn't that I'm not interested in the causes and I only focus on the effects.  In fact, I've spent my academic career obsessed with the causes and the whys.  I don't know why it's so difficult for me to do the same in my own life, but it is.

So back to my original question:  does everything happen for a reason?  I've made my fair share of mistakes.  Hell, I've probably made more than my fair share.  There are a few I'd never want to make again and there are a few that were totally worth it.  But aren't the ones I'd never want to make again also worth it?  I mean obviously they taught me something pretty major for me to be so absolutist about them....I'd NEVER want to do them again.  Never is a pretty big word. 

Your mistakes make you who you are.  Maybe your mistakes are more who you are than your successes ever will be.  Maybe that's what's so scary to me.  I don't want to be judged by my mistakes.  But neither do I want to live in a bubble, too afraid to make mistakes and therefore too afraid to really live. 

I don't know if everything happens for a reason.  I know I was married for a really long time to the wrong someone.  There's nothing wrong with him (at least not any more wrong with him than is wrong with the rest of us). There was just something really wrong with the 'us' we made.  I consider my marriage and impending divorce a pretty monumental mistake. 

I can see all the roads not taken.  I can see all the places my life might have went had I made a myriad of different choices.  But had I made a myriad of different choices then the me that is me right now wouldn't exist and neither would the life I have right now or the 'where' I am right now.  This choice, this life, wouldn't exist.  It wouldn't be an option. 

And I like this life.  I like this 'where'.  I like this 'what.'  I might not like all the 'whys' that led me here, but I like it here.  For the first time even the hard days seem worth it.  I like that.  I have learned a lot, not just about life, but also about myself.  This divorce, which I would consider a monumental failure, has taught me more about myself than anything else I've ever been through.  So is that really a failure?  I had a teacher who used to say, "Did you learn something?" when you messed up.  If you said yes then she'd say, "Well it was worth it then."  And maybe all of these mistakes are worth it too because they've certainly taught me something, and the me I was is pretty happy with the me I've become.