My eldest bonus child was here as they always are the week after Christmas to celebrate Christmas, New Year's Eve, and then their birthday. It was New Year's Eve and our parenting time had been going quite well.
As it neared midnight and the countdown to the new year (2022), I pulled out craft supplies and set the kids up to start a vision board craft. I also started the process of making four dozen cookies.
Somewhere in the middle of all that, around 11:30-something, my bonus-kid's mom or possible their mom's boyfriend texted me to ask when we were meeting the next day to exchange them. As we always meet at the same time, and I was up to my elbows in crafts and cookie dough, I elected to ignore the text. It's a holiday. I'm reclaiming our limited family time. You can wait until the morning.
Ten minutes later, my hands sunk in cookie dough, my bonus kid burst into the kitchen and demands to know a time to meet their mom the next day. I calmly say, "We will let them know first thing in the morning. It will all be okay."
My bonus kid runs to their dad because my answer wasn't acceptable and he tells them the same thing.
Their mom never should have put them in the middle. That's ridiculous.
But then, instead of just accepting that answer, my child who is about to turn 15 (literally in 3 days) stomps into their room and slams the door. They begin to loudly call me curse words while on the phone.
I go into the room and ask them to give me the phone and rejoin the celebration.
This child who is two inches taller than me and one hundred pounds heavier than me, stands up and goes nose to nose with me to scream in my face, "YOU DON'T PAY FOR IT, YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO TAKE IT!"
At this point I become angry and yell at them to give me the damn phone. My child then shoves me into the bunk bed and kicks me. I call for their dad. I am left bruised and with a busted lip. Their dad takes their phone.
The next day I leave my home with my two youngest children because I don't feel safe and I am heartbroken. I did not bake them a cake for their birthday. I came back in time to give them their gift. Before they left I set some boundaries: no one in our home is allowed to call me names and disrespect me in my own home, not online or on the phone or on any device or otherwise; and no one in this house is allowed to get physical with someone else. We have the right to take devices in our home.
Our child has refused to come back. Their mom and their mom's boyfriend refused to address the assault, even when presented with photo evidence. They instead insisted we did not have the right to take the phone.
They have refused to effectively coparent and have practiced parental alienation the entire time the boyfriend has been involved, and our child's mother has practiced parental alienation our child's entire life.
They refuse to follow even very basic state laws regarding family law. In the absence of a court ordered custody agreement, both biological parents have legal custody and therefore must be informed of all medical and educational information concerning the child. That's the law. My husband shares legal custody with this child's mother and the boyfriend has no legal rights. That's the law.
I didn't make it up.
I shouldn't be surprised they continue to withhold medical information. After all, they think assault and battery is acceptable behavior. Clearly they don't care about laws.
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