Day 26: A Book That Changed My Opinion About Something

I am taking part in the 30 Day Book Challenge.  Click the link to do it too (and add your blog to my meme)!  *could someone please tell me why my draft page reads "30 Day Book Challenge" and my actual blog page reads "96 Day Book Challenge"?  How do I fix this*

This is tough.  I read a lot of books.  A LOT OF BOOKS.  But do I really read a lot of books that change my opinion about something?  I mean it's not exactly easy to change my opinion.  I'm stubborn as an ox.  Once my mind is set it's pretty difficult to change it.  You'd have to present a pretty strong argument to sway me.


Surely no book has changed my convictions!  I thought there must not be one.  Then I thought but what if it's something more subtle, a subtle nudge of the mind?  Then I knew there was such a book, a book that gently nudged my opinion in a different direction.

That book is Eat Pray Love.  

I don't normally read these kinds of books.  Even as I purchased it I thought, "There might be a lot of hype about this book, but I bet it sucks." Then I read it.

When I read Eat Pray Love I was going through a rough patch.  Nothing in my life was going according to plan.  Nothing was working out the way I was convinced it was supposed to.  I wasn't happy, but I couldn't figure out why.  I wasn't miserable, but I thought a lit bit of misery might be better than all the apathy I'd wrapped myself up in.

I was 25 years old and I thought I was supposed to have it all figured out.  I was supposed to know what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.  I was supposed to want kids RIGHT NOW because I had the husband and the house and everybody said kids were what I should be craving.  I was supposed to have a career and be climbing some sort of nonexistent ladder to gold and riches and professional recognition.  I was supposed to know it all and have it all and want it all.

Except I didn't.  I didn't know it all.  I didn't even know what kind of career I wanted.  I was laid off, unemployed, and unable to commit to a single career choice.  I didn't have it all.  What I had was a financial crunch and a pressing need to find some kind of work.  What I had was a mountain of indecision and lots of self doubt.  And I most certainly didn't want it all.  I absolutely did not want that child everyone was harping about.  I did not want to be a mother.  I did not want to be responsible for someone else when right then I couldn't even really feel responsible for my self.  How could I help a kid be whoever they wanted to be if I didn't even know what I wanted to be?

I was a mess.  I felt like a failure.  How could I not know what I wanted or why I wanted it or what kind of job I was destined for?  What kind of a useless human being was I?

Then I read Eat Pray Love and it was like a breath of fresh air.  It was like I could breathe again.  Here was this woman, this woman who was older than me, this woman who outwardly seemed to have it all.  Except she didn't.  She didn't know what she wanted either.  She didn't want it all either.  She was confused too. And she was over 30!  She was over 30 and she didn't know it all!  Wow. She wasn't doing what she was supposed to be doing.  This chick was a big mess too!

With each page I slowly began to forgive myself.  If Elizabeth Gilbert didn't know it all in her early 30s then how was I supposed to know it all at 25?  If Elizabeth Gilbert only found happiness and contentment through doing what everyone said she wasn't supposed to do, then why did I feel like I should be doing anything specific at all?  If Elizabeth Gilbert could travel the world....oh wait.  Darn.  My bank account wouldn't allow for that.

But I did change my opinion about something pretty important by reading this book (even without traveling the globe)---myself.  I let go of my self loathing.  I didn't have to know it all.  I didn't have to do anything or be anyone or know everything or have it all or want it all or be it all and all of that was okay.  It wasn't the end of the world.  It didn't make me a failure.  It just made me human.

So thank you Elizabeth Gilbert.  Thank you for documenting your own meltdown and your journey to contentment.  I appreciate it. I hope I'll be as successful on my journey as you were.

My Vision Board: Conquering my QLC

Two days ago I stumbled across a term I'd never heard before and right into a major revelation.  The term was Quarterlife Crisis (QLC) and I was smack in the middle of one.  If you drop your open purse down a flight of stairs there's this one moment when all the contents are up in the air at the same exact time and you have no idea where your belongs are going to fall.  I've been feeling a lot like that.  I had no name for it two days ago.  Now I know this feeling is actually a QLC.

I invested in this book:

20 Something Manifesto by Christine Hassler.  I never thought I'd find myself in the Self Help section of the bookstore.  In fact, I haven't taken myself down that aisle since I worked in a bookstore 5 years ago. To be completely honest I usually pass some judgment on the people in that aisle. I look at them and think how can they possibly think a book will help them at all?  Poor saps. Pathetic.  I guess this is my karma.  I sucked it up, swallowed my pride, and walked with my head held high down the aisle I despise and grabbed as many books as I could find about a QLC.  I dumped the books on a table and sat down to figure out which one I should buy.  I settled on this one.  It has stories from other 20 somethings experiencing a QLC.  It has exercises and straight-talking narration.  I like that.  I got over my Self Help phobia and now I'm working my way through my first self-help book.

So far, so good.  I've skipped a few of the stories I don't think I will relate to (like how to deal with being single--I'm married so obviously I'm not having those singles blues) and I've delved into the stories, narration, and exercises that I think may be useful to me.

I skipped ahead a bit in the book to an exercise about a vision board.  I've heard of vision boards before.  My friend Sam and my cousin Brandy have both made their own vision boards.  Both swear it's a useful exercise.  I saw it listed in the exercises table of contents and I was intrigued.

To create a vision board:  cut out words and images that appeal to you from magazines, then use these words and images to create a vision board by gluing them down.  The idea is to glue down ideas, dreams, hobbies, goals, etc. that you want to manifest in your own life.  You're supposed to put the finished product somewhere where you can see it and remind yourself of your goals daily.

I collected every magazine I could find and sat down in the floor to chop out words and pictures that appealed to me.  I then grouped these images and pictures together based around common ideas.  That's just how my mind works.  I see a clutter of information and my brain immediately sets about analyzing and separating that data into files. 

Some of my groupings were unsurprising:  a skeleton key which I glued the words 'work' and 'success' over, an ad for the movie Eat Pray Love which I overlapped with 'Be Good To Yourself' and 'Change is Good'. I love the message in Eat Pray Love (fabulous book) and success or lack thereof has been on my mind for a while.

Other things were things I was surprised to see:  an image of a cozy front porch with the words 'Home Sweet Home' and "Simplified."  That was a light bulb moment.  My life is chaotic.  My home is a cluttered expression of my current chaos.  I don't like it.  I need to simplify both my life and my home.  I have a step to take that I didn't even notice:  de-clutter my home and maybe in the process my life.  That was a big one.  That's a big deal.  My subconscious put together a problem that has really been nagging me and it was a problem that prior to this exercise I did not even recognize.

This vision board thing was a good idea after all.  I recommend you try it.