Material Girls (and Boys)?

As a parent I frequently find myself concerned with things that I never would have bothered to even think about before children came into my life. I seriously consider ideologies and daily practices and their potential affect on my children.  How will this or that influence how my girls think?  How will this or that influence how my girls view their world?  How will this or that influence their personalities?  As a result of all this thinking (and to a certain extent, as a result of my graduate education and lengthy discussions with Sean McCloud, Joanne Robinson, and Ginger Stickney), I have developed certain parenting strategies that many of my friends and family members consider "weird."

I am, for instance, very concerned about materialism.  I am convinced that American culture breeds a "must have, need more, want, want, want!" attitude.  We live in a culture that allows companies to target young children with their advertising, and these companies take full advantage of that.  My three year old comes back from watching television at her biological mom's house or one of her grandparents' homes and announces she really wants a Lego Duplo, even though she can't explain to me what a Lego Duplo is or why she wants one.  This concerns me.  It's not just Lego Duplo either. It's Hello Kitty and Pillow Pets and this and that and virtually every toy on the planet. We'll walk down a toy aisle and she wants everything on that aisle, even when she doesn't know what it is.  Why does she want a toy when she isn't even 100% sure what it is? Why, because the commercials tell her she does and she is already, at three years of age, being indoctrinated with our culture's materialism and the desire to keep up with the Jones's (grammar incorrect intentionally--Jones-es LOL). 

I do not want my girls to get every little thing they want.  I don't want them to ask for something and always be handed what they want.  I think spoiled children become entitled adults who measure success in "stuff" and don't value those amazing moments that don't cost a thing as much as they ought to.  I want my girls to be caring, compassionate adults who KNOW that the value of life lies in day to day living and with the moments that make you laugh and smile, and not in "stuff." 

So my answer to this problem is to eliminate cable from my home.  They do not need to be exposed to commercials that are specifically designed to work on their young minds to make them think they actually need some object that won't even teach them anything.  We have Netflix and we watch commercial free family programming for no more than one hour a day.  One of my friends informed me that we need cable and we should get the girls a television for their bedroom.  My response to that was absolutely not.  My girls do not sit on their rear ends staring at a television screen like zombies. 

When they are here they engage their imaginations.  They put on tiaras and tutus and become princesses.  They create magnificent art for my refrigerator with their crayons and construction paper.  They sing the "Days of the Week" song with me to learn the order of the days of the week. They look outside at the weather and change the little velcro-backed description on their calendar.  They draw on the sidewalk with chalk and play hopscotch.  They go to the park and climb on the monkey bars.  We have dance parties in our living room. They help us cook in the kitchen.  We do art projects that create giant messes all over my floor.  They make cards and practice writing and do puzzles.  They never tell me they are bored.  They never run out of things to do, things to do that are far more interesting and educational than sitting in front of a tv.  My girls are not deprived because I limit their exposure to television.  My girls thrive here because I limit their exposure to television. 

Another answer to this materialism problem?  I don't give them everything they want. I say NO.  I explain to them that they do not really need this item or that thing.  I explain to them that there are other children who don't even have as much as they have.  And this year I'm going to take the girls to get an angel from the Angel Tree with me.  They are going to help me pick a child whose parents cannot afford Christmas, and they are going to help me shop for that child.  I want them to learn the joy of giving.  I want them to know there are people who have less, and I want them to care about those people.  I want them to become adults who know the difference between need and want, and I want them to become adults who maybe don't want everything they see. 

I can't do much about what happens when my girls are with their bio moms or their grandparents.  I'm just the step mom.  But I can do something about what happens when they're with me.  I can do everything in my power to make sure that my girls don't become "material girls."  I can do everything in my power to make sure they grow into women with depth instead of shallow, needy girls in grown bodies.  No, my girls won't be material girls.  Will your's?